How Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull Should Have Ended
September 10th, 2010 | by adminSome pretty funny stuff, particularly George Lucas munching away on money…
Spielberg: Hey Rob, I checked out your webcomic site, and while I think there’s a great idea there that could be ruined by a big-budget Hollywood motion picture, I’m just not interested in this time.
Rob: But why, Mr. Spielberg? The comic has everything! Adventure, excitement, romance! (well, not yet story-wise, but it’s on the horizon.)
Spielberg: No, I’m actually in the market for taking cherished 1980′s toy icons and ruining these at the moment. But maybe someday Dreamworks will offer you millions of dollars for the rights to ruin your character.
Rob: You really mean it?
Spielberg: Oh yes, our studio triumphs in taking interesting ideas for a film and utterly ruining them. Take “A.I.” for example. Can you really think of an idea more interesting – a cyborg child who wants to be human? Well, I took that story and absolutely made it creepy, disturbing, and utterly boring, and then totally ruined everything with CGI-animated aliens at the end of the film (much like the CGI aliens in that crummy “Indiana Jones 4″ movie… and hey, didn’t I once make a comment that I didn’t like CGI-animated characters because they didn’t have any soul?)
Rob: Yeah, I think I remember reading that in a magazine once, but I don’t remember the source. It was probably a remark aimed at George Lucas.
Spielberg: Probably. Well, I’ve gotta go. I’m off to a pre-screening of “Go-Bots: Revenge of the Knock-Off Toys”…
Rob: Are you sure you won’t consider?
Spielberg: Afraid not.
Rob: Wait…. what if I rewrite the script, so that instead of being a thrilling adventure of a reluctant super-hero against an exciting and plausible alien menace, I change it so that…. the entire story revolves around December Sun and his fractured relationship with his father, that unfolds in painfully-slow detail throughout the film…
Spielberg: Really?
Rob: Yes. The film opens with December Sun as a boy, and his Dad at a table, and December Sun mimics his Dad leaning his head on his hands. Later, they throw a ball around to one another, but the Dad leaves, and December Sun grows up to be a bitter lad named “Mutt”. They reconcile when the Government agencies show up to reclaim a lost, gross-looking pale muppet living in Drew Barrymore’s closet, then father and son scoot off in a motorcycle with side-car, fleeing the fake-looking CGI-dinosaurs and distract the Nazi’s airplanes by sending thousands of seagulls up to their grizzly death!
Spielberg: (awed silence)
Rob: Then Tom Hanks dies and the big, radiation-producing spaceship lands and picks up Richard Dreyfus’ ghost that died in a plane crash in an air battle in 1941…
Spielberg: Who do I make the check payable to?

I’ve been rewatching this again, and sadly, it doesn’t go down as well the second time around. In fact,
I was reluctant to spend the $1 to rent this at the Walmart film kiosk, so I instead rented it from the library for free (and it’s somewhat noteworthy that I was able to get it this fast from the library. Draw your own conclusions.)
Initial thoughts are that the believability is really difficult this time around. Granted the first few films required a suspense of disbelief, but this one really pushes the limits… namely the “fridge-nuke” sequence. And could someone really stand and admire a fallout, without eye protection?
Anyhow, more thoughts on this to come, namely regarding the music which was the single most disappointing feature of this film for me.
I recently posted this question in a John Williams forum. I think I was labeled as a troll. Ah well, reposting the comments here:
Without revealing any spoilers, while watching Crystal Skull I noticed that Lucas (not surprisingly) resorted to cutting-n-pasting music from John Williams from other films (this time from “Raiders” and “Crusade”. Going into Skull, I sortof expected this to happen: it happened with Clones (what a jaw-dropping crap experience to hear the same music from Phantom resurface again) and then Sith’s music reuse wasn’t a big surprise. So going to see Skull, I sortof expected Lucas to pull the same crummy tactic, and of course, he didn’t let me down. Again, without spoilers, it sounds as if Lucas lifted the “Flight from Peru” music from Raiders and pasted it in, as well as several of the “Father/Son” themes from Crusade into this film (they sound pretty darn identical.) Another nefarious practice appears to be (unless my ears misheard) was the “flight from Peru” music but SLIGHTLY slowed down, so as to sound original to anyone listening for new music (I think Lucas did the same trick in Sith when Obi-Wan was docking with the Correlian feighter thing… resued Phantom music, but slowed down. Oooh, how sneaky Lucas is.)I knew this was going to happen, and I actually wrote a letter to Lucas a while ago, asking him not to do this. Apparently he didn’t listen…
My question is, what is the situation here? Is it:
1) Lucas didn’t like Williams music so cut-n-pasted other old Williams music that he (Lucas) preferred more?
or…
2) Did Williams just decide that, heck, why rescore this? Let’s just add some of MY OWN music here again?
or…
3) What Lucas in a frenzy to add more CGI scenes to his film that Williams didn’t have a chance to adequately score the film? (thus the need to cut-n-paste material?)
As a life-long Williams fan, this practice has frustrated me beyond words, and I’m finally at the point of wanting to post this here, with hopes someone can tell me WHY the score was such a paste job. Same for the Star Wars films: what is the story? Frankly, I don’t get it. George Lucas has John Williams, JOHN WILLIAMS, the greatest composer of the last two centuries at his disposal, and he’s content to cut apart and ruin his
scores, thoroughly disappointing fans of Williams music?
Why? To me, this is the most nefarious practice for a film-maker to do for fans of film music. I’m the odd-ball who looked forward to Sith, not for the grand story-wrap up, but rather to hear how Williams would score the climatic final battle. Likewise with Indy 4: I only went to see this film, not to see the implausible story or silly acting, but for Williams music. That’s it!
I feel like I’ve been ripped off: paid to see a new film with new music, but instead paying to hear the same music surface again. I also feel like Williams has, once again, been ripped off, unless these reuses of tracks were his idea? Seems unthinkable.
I heard a response from George Lucas regarding my earlier note. It was actually a very cordial response from George’s secretary, but in the note it mentioned that George read my note, and that he made the comment that he had “never interfered with Mr.Williams’ film compositions.” Well, I’m not sure this is completely accurate: while he never interfered, clearly someone on his crew did. Anyhow, here’s my second note. Hopefully I’ll get a response. Hopefully I’m not just beating a dead horse here:
Sep.12, 2007
Dear Mr. Lucas:
Thank you for your response to my earlier note, in which I strongly urged you to use John Williams’ music as he decides to write it, uncut and unedited, for the new Indiana Jones film. I am happy to read your comments that you have “never interfered with Mr. Williams’ film compositions.” And while I believe that you did not make these changes personally, clearly someone within your production staff had made the decision that Williams’ music was not adequate in “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”, and took it upon themselves to make edits to Williams’ music in these films.
For instance, in “Attack of the Clones”, during the sequence when the Jedi make their appearance before Dooku in the arena, the music is taken note-for-note from the beginning of “The Phantom Menace”, when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are exposed to poison gas onboard the Federation Ship.
Another example of music reuse would be the sequence from “Revenge of the Sith” when Yoda confronts Palpatine. When Palpatine attacks Yoda initially with force lightning, the music, as Palpatine walks up to Yoda, is again taken from another film, this time from “The Empire Strikes Back”, taken from a sequence where Luke Skywalker battles Darth Vader in Bespin.
To fans of Williams’ music, when watching sequences like this, we can readily identify where and when these cues were taken from. Surely you are aware of the fact that fans of the Star Wars saga will watch and rewatch these films, and musical cues, when reused, tend to stand out noticeably, ESPECIALLY for fans of Star Wars who listen to Williams’ music isolated from the film (e.g. on CD recordings of the Star Wars music.)
All I would ask is this: clearly someone on your production staff heard Williams’ music as he recorded it for these films, was dissatisfied with the music, and took it upon themselves to MODIFY Williams’ music with segments of his older music used instead. Perhaps it was your sound editor? Perhaps the producer? I don’t know.
What I would ask is this: when the next Indiana Jones film is being assembled and produced, please send out a notice to the production crew, stating something to the effect of “Please show respect to John Williams and leave his score completely uncut. Retain his music exactly as he writes it, without cutting and pasting music from older Indiana Jones films.”
This will mean so much for fans of John Williams. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the film contributions that you’ve made, and I greatly look forward to the next Indiana Jones film. And I look forward to hearing a new composition for this film by Williams, with hopes that it can be heard and enjoyed exactly the way that he intended it to be scored, uncut and unaltered.
Thanks
Here’s a letter I’m going to print and mail to George Lucas. As a huge fan of John Williams, I have a secret dread that the upcoming Indiana Jones 4 will feature huge, re-used chunks of music from earlier Indiana Jones films (similar to how Lucas cut-n-pasted large segments of music into “Clones” and “Sith” from other Star Wars films.)
Anyhow, here’s the letter. It’s a tad pretentious, but doggonit, John Williams is such a fantastic composer, that I really don’t want to see his music get chopped up again by Lucas.
Dear Mr. Lucas:
I wanted to write to you to make an urgent appeal. I realize that the next Indiana Jones film is in production now, and this is very exciting news! But at the same time, I’m somewhat concerned. I’m concerned that, for whatever reason, you might consider REUSING some of John Williams’ music in this film, by simply cutting and pasting musical cues from some of the
previous Indiana Jones films, such as ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ or ‘Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.’
Granted, it’s to be expected that musically the audience will be treated to a recap of the classic Indiana Jones theme. This is to be expected. But as for the principle musical body of the film itself, I would BEG you: please DO NOT reuse John Williams’ music from the earlier Indiana Jones films. PLEASE, please allow Williams’ music to remain untouched and unedited
in this fourth Indiana Jones film, without resorting to reusing cues from the first three films.
For fans of John Williams like myself, one of the greatest pleasures of cinema is to enjoy a brand-new, brilliant Williams composition. I have enjoyed John Williams’ music since my earliest childhood, treasuring the score both within the film, and in isolated form in my music
collection, and Williams’ music has always been something very important and very special to me. I can’t stress enough that, to a fan of Williams, there is nothing more dissatisfying than watching a “new” film, such as “Attack of the Clones” or “Revenge of the Sith“, and hearing repeatedly reused clips from a different Star Wars film. The music from the Phantom Menace was fantastic, but it was so disappointing to hear the SAME, EXACT music reused for sequence of “Attack of the Clones”. Or hearing musical segment from “Empire Strikes Back” reused in “Revenge of the Sith.” This is a very unfortunate, and disrespectful, way to treat John Williams music.
If it wasn’t for John Williams, your films would have NOWHERE near the success that they have enjoyed. John Williams is one of the most legendary composers ever, and he deserves to have his film music kept INTACT and AS HE WROTE IT in the film, and not shamefully chopped apart and reused in different films.
So please, I beg of you, afford John Williams the luxury of keeping his score intact for Indiana Jones 4. Let him write the music as he sees fit, and DO NOT EDIT IT! Keep it in the film the way he wrote it! The fans will appreciate it, and you might be surprised that the film will become an even better production as a result.
Thank you,
Rob Marsh
My favorite scene from ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’
October 5th, 2006 | by admin
I picked up ‘Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade’ at the library the other day, and could help but do a scene by scene analysis of one of my favorite scenes from the film. No, not any of the exciting fight scenes or adventures. Rather, the scene of the extremely cheap model tank going over a cliff with the tiny nazi doll. The utter cheapness of this has fascinated and amused me for years. I mean, how could ILM film this scene and not look back at it and think, “Wow, that looked really, really cheap and corny!”
Surely a film with a budget of Indiana Jones magnitude could have afforded a better sequence. Anyhow, for some insane reason, I decided to grab a few screen captures and do a scene-by-scene analysis of the sequence, if for no other reason that it makes me smile thinking about this hilarious moment in the film.
Here is the analysis:
First, the toy tank plunges off the “cliff” (aka a pile of rocks outside of ILM studios) Note nazi doll, fastened to the side of the turrett. The nazi doll must have been glued down, because if you watch the sequence of the fall, the doll stays attached to the turrett the entire time (whereas, in real life, a body would hit rocks and be smashed. It wouldn’t cling to the turrett and fling around… unless the nazi’s foot was stuck or something?)
Next, the turret of the toy tank snaps off, with the nazi doll attached. Wham, he wacks into the rocks. Ouch!!

Next, the nazi doll is tossed through the air, going all floppy, bendy and upside-down… 
Now, we can see the nazi doll spinning wildly to the right. It looks undamaged. Just floppy and fake, and attached to the turrett…
Finally, the nazi doll has gone almost completely vertical (still apparently attached to the turrett) and soon after will vanish in a cloud of dust, and toy and doll are consumed in dust.
A remarkable scene, and it makes me chuckle every time I see it.
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